televisionary

Y-U-L spells $1,000,000

Survivor 13x14, 13x15, and

Reunion

As CBS’ promotions would tell you, it really was the survivor week. Four freaking hours of it! First with the outing of Pavarti, Adam, Sundra, the last tribal council, and finally, the finale where Yul (yay!) wins a narrow 5-4 over Ozzy in a final two (three if you count Becky). Woo-hoo! Several thoughts here:-

- Yul must have decided after witnessing both Pavarti and Ozzy’s naked asses in the reward challenge that Pavarti needed to go first. In retrospect, the only way Adam and Pavarti could have convinced Ozzy to their dark side was Adam winning here, you know, with the whole Real World hot tub action. Yul winning that third place in the reward challenge was detrimental to Pavarti’s game. Not only did she not succeed in talking Ozzy over, she exposed her possible abilities to take Ozzy’s vote and weaken Aitu to Yul. Now she’s a strategic threat as well as a challenge threat.

- And they picked the right one. Adam, as much ‘trouble’ he tried stirring up in the end, didn’t even remotely dent Aitu’s (or Yul’s) game. His point of taking the idol out before the final 3 would have been a good strategic move for Sundra and Ozzy. However it made sense that neither Ozzy or Sundra (both not mean spirited and more importantly, never did much strategizing to begin with) took that offer.

- Did anyone notice a hint of something on Yul’s face when he realize it was a final 3 and not a finale 2? He should really consider himself lucky. Without the final 3 it was actually pretty unlikely he would have made the final 2, let alone the win.

- The final challenge was the usual stand on a pole with a twist. I was surprised to see Becky fall off first – given her stature you’d expect her to be hanging in there for a while. Hey, at least until they’re standing on the postcard/half a postcard sized platform. I felt bad for Sundra though – it would have been awesome if she did win finally something here. But nope. Ozzy remains almost undefeated in all immunity challenges. Thinking back, he’d only lost one to Adam since the mutiny. Way to go, dolphin boy.

- How smug were the 3 Raro faces in tribal? Here’s a real unpleasant look at young (white) Americans. Sore losers. You could see them hoping for some juicy fights amongst the Aitus in finally voting out one of their own. Glad Aitu gave them NOTHING here. They pretty much remained Aitus and never went the Raro way. How civilized – let the ones without immunity duke it out in a fire making tie breaker. Seemed very exciting, until we get to the …

- Ah, the fire. Funniest tribal moment – seeing everyone yawning and sleeping waiting for one of them to get a fire. Brad was dozing off, as was Adam. Even Yul and Ozzy had their faces in their hands. After that embarrassing showing of (non)fire making skills, it was pretty evident that neither Sundra or Becky ‘deserved’ the million – man, you couldn’t even make a fire with MATCHES? I was hoping for some Cao Boi fire dancing here. That WAS embarrassing. But for Yul, it was great. It solidify the fact that none of his votes would go to Becky instead.

- Sundra simply has to tell me her secret. How is it that her skin glows so damn beautifully all the time? Her radiant skin was glistening in the final voting ceremony.

- What’s up with Nate’s leg?

- Same smug Raro faces here. From this showing alone, the Adam-Candice-Pavarti trio has become the most annoying people this season. Their faces outsour even Jenny’s. whose face at least was sour for a reason. Ugh. What were they sour about? None of the Aitus were ever in an alliance with them, so no backstabbing here. 

- The questions. And the answers. It was at this point when I got very upset at the thought that Yul lost the game. Not that Ozzy was any better at answering the questions, but I thought a lot of questions were directed at Yul, and Ozzy got only one real ‘anti’ Ozzy question in Jonathan’s. But anyhoo, all three did a relatively poor job at the answers. Yawn. It might have something to do with the fact that some of the questions were completely boring and useless though. How did Rebecca supposedly decide her vote on these two when their answers are basically identical? What has Brad’s question about Ozzy’s hardships in life have anything to do with the game (btw, Brad, I know you’re on Yul’s side, so wtf? You gave Ozzy an opportunity to be all emotional.) Why did Adam ask Ozzy to trash talk Yul and Becky but not the other way around? This is yet another example of the Raros wanting some sort of ugly fight amongst the Aitus. Of course, again, it didn't work.And what’s up with calling the three (plus Sundra, who’s NOT even in the final three) boring? You’re boring, Adam. Face it. What is up with Candice’s stupid yes/no questions? She really makes me want to punch her in the face.. But as far as questions go, none of them were particularly vindictive or interesting. Which makes sense when your final two (three) are basically people that earned their seats.

- Jonathan’s questions – they were amusing and truthful. I like that he acknowledged Yul outplaying them all with a nice smile. And his vote – duh, of course it’s Yul.

- Pavarti’s vote. Hee. She was totally coming onto Ozzy here. Which makes me (almost) forget her promise vote to Yul for getting Jonathan out first. Liar.

- btw, where can I find out how the votes went down? It’ll be interesting to see who actually voted for Yul and who voted for Ozzy. We know that Yul got Jonathan, Brad, and Adam (because strangely enough, he DID keep his promise.) Who were the remaining two? My guess would be Sundra for sure, and ? From the reactions at tribal council, it’s a tossup; but I’m pretty sure Candice did NOT vote for Yul. You know, coz she herself didn’t win. And of course it’s all Yul’s fault.

And the

Reunion

…

- Heh. Ozzy looks WAY better – I mean WAAAY BETTER on the island than off. What happened? He’s all chubby faced now, and he should know from Brad that a little facial hair can go a LONG way. I think other than Ozzy and Candice (whose hair need fixing), everyone cleaned up nicely (especially Sundra. She looks real cute).

- Way to stay relevant to the game, Sekou and your song. Hm. Now that was a waste of 30 seconds.

- Poor Ozzy. He looked really disappointed. Oh well. At least you got the car.

- Poor Becky. Still a non-entity here at the voting. Is she the only survivor in a finale NOT to get a single vote?

- Yay for Yul. Kudos to Costco. Loved that Jeff did mention Yul’s appearance in People’s sexiest men list. Even if Yul didn’t win the money, Survivor was probably his best personal ad ever. Woo hoo! And on Becky and Yul’s relationship? Heh. Come on girl, you really have to wait til the cameras stop rolling to pounce on Yul, huh? I wonder when she’d make her move. Or vice versa. Anyhoo, good luck to them. Heh.

- Billy’s answer to the Candice question. Nice save, Billy. Maybe you’re not that crazy.

- What else? Other than the winner reveal, eh. Uneventful boring same old same old reunion.

I’m just happy that Yul won, even though I can’t help thinking there was a little bit of manipulation from CBS to get Yul to the finals. I guess CBS decided that a final three is really the only way of getting a deserving final two (and thus good ratings), and Yul is the lucky beneficiary of it.

Anyhoo, happy holidays! Not much TV other than one more fantabulous episode of Dexter which I’ll post soon. See you next year!

Y-U-L spells nobody likes Jonathan

Survivor 13x13

I do though. Jonathan did everything he should have done to win, and if it wasn’t for Pavarti sending him to Exile Island, he might have made it another week. Anyway, Jonathan totally added in the drama and the exciting bits of the season, and I’m happy he’s not going to win, but also a bit sad that he’s gone. Anyway, onto the strategies:-

- Most people complained about Yul’s bad move this week, throwing out Jonathan. I disagree. Like I said last week, Yul should be throwing out the last of the mutineers anyway to accomplish several things – to appease the rest of Raro and get jury votes from them, and to make ‘good’ with Becky and to an extent Sundra and Ozzy. And I think he accomplished that.

- the previews suggest that Ozzy will flip to Pavarti and Adam’s side. I really don’t think that will happen for a number of reasons. First, I’m not sure if anyone from Aitu would want anyone on Raro in the final 2. The whole jury is basically made up of Raros, and in previous tribal councils they have been shown to vote emotionally and not rationally. Other than Jenny who never lost her “I’m pissed at everyone” face all this time, Brad who has a bond with Yul and Becky (but not Sundra or Ozzy, given they’ve never been on the same tribe), and Jonathan, the only rational player on Raro, everyone else would pretty much vote for whoever’s left of the Raros. His votes from Aitu might also be compromised if he flipped. If he sticks with Aitu though, then he has a better chance at more votes given his strength in challenges, especially if he’s up against Becky and Sundra. Also, he knows (as with everyone else) that Yul has the idol. Which means whatever shit happens, Yul is most likely going to make it into the final four. Why jeopardize his relationship with Yul and Aitu by flipping over to a side without the idol? For all he knows, he could be voted off if the idol bounces it back from Yul. And even Ozzy knows better than to vote off the Aitu girls he most likely will win against at the end. So I’m not sure why Ozzy would switch if it doesn’t really help with his position in the game. Ozzy is a challenge threat, and anytime he doesn’t win immunity is a huge risk of getting voted out. I’m not sure flipping to Raro would help him in that respect; he’d still have to win the challenges, and Adam and Pavarti are two challenge threats versus the lone Yul in Aitu.

- So why switch? The only reason why Ozzy would want to flip would be to get rid of Yul’s idol, and get rid of Yul before the final four. But that cannot happen. At most, he can maybe get rid of the idol, but not Yul himself. They only have six people now, and even if Ozzy flips, the idol would protect Yul long enough to make it into the final four, whether they all vote for Yul or the Aitu gals. Of course, Yul’s position in the final 2/3 would be compromised in this situation, but Ozzy’s position would be non-existent in this scenario.

What I want for next time? Well, I don’t think I could stand it if Adam or Pavarti wins the game, so I’m still with Aitu on that. But, it would be hugely entertaining if Ozzy did flip. Makes up for the drama lost when Jonathan left.

-it was really funny seeing Yul’s brother – now that’s what a genuine average Asian guy would look like. (Not that he’s bad looking, of course – in fact he’s pretty tall and I’m sure is just as smart, nice and geeky as Yul.) But it’s kind of nice to know that the Brads and Yuls are rare! Hee. What else? Oh, Becky’s sister is pretty damn cute, Adam’s smile is identical to his dad’s, the moms of Sundra and Ozzy are both really mom like and adorable, and I can’t remember anything about Pavarti’s dad, other than him calling Sundra’s mom “something something island lady (!)”. Anyway.

-How about those food hiders? Pavarti and Adam probably made the best move this week by bringing food back to them. It made them all one big happy nice family, and all thoughts of hiding food extinguished. See what some chicken and cornbread can do?

- Ozzy’s cocky laugh about the rest of the tribe ‘eating it’ while he aced the challenge. I enjoyed it (because it was true that other than Yul, everyone else was, well, eating it while Ozzy was the eagle among turkeys) but the behaviour (along with the food hiding, dissing of the mutineers once it happened, Billy, etc) reinforces the belief that Ozzy is an emotional player. If Yul and Becky vote him out, he’ll probably be enraged like Jenny.

Y-U-L spells the puppet master, the UN, the ringleader, and one of People’s sexiest men

Survivor 13x12

The theme is: everyone hates Jonathan, who’s a rat and a cancer. What else?  Raro’s a bunch of immature idiots, but that’s nothing new. Candice gets Exile Island (again, poor – oh who cares – you’re annoying) and gets the boot. Adam loves her but didn’t give her his immunity win. They smooch in a really disgusting way after Tribal Council that makes me want to puke all over their faces, just like Pavarti (said about Jonathan). Oh, and they fight over food, because lazy people never gets food and has to share/take/claim food from those who actually work for it. And when you see the glee faces on Rebecca and Jenny’s faces upon hearing the food fight, I’m convinced neither Candice or Pavarti ever lifted a finger before the dinner bell. What a bunch of babies. Oh, and Brad of course still looks totally hot.

I’m not sure what Yul’s up to this episode. Showing the entire tribe his hidden immunity idol? Yeah, I get it, you’ve ‘used’ it already last episode. But still. It’s called ‘hidden’ for a reason. Especially since Raro still didn’t think Yul had it (even when Jonathan flat out told them – ‘He showed me the idol, so I don’t know what crack you’ve been smoking’). Maybe he was trying too hard to be all honest and diplomatic about things. I’m not sure how tribes usually respond to peacemakers in the tribe – especially one that is a ‘ringleader’ as well as the holder of the hidden immunity.

But the real true blunder he made was assuming the strength of his bond with Becky. Sure, she’s a very close ally that you can trust, but to blatantly ask her about making nice with the jury to get votes against whoever you’re up against? Hello, Yul; have you met Becky? She’s supposed to be your final two partner here. Why on earth would you discuss jury votes with the person you’re supposed to be up against in the final two? That was a dangerous, dangerous move. Becky is no dummy here, and while Yul is super crazy smart here, I’m not sure Becky’s not. Just because she calls you ‘brother’ and you’re one big happy Korean family doesn’t mean she isn’t vying for that million dollars as well.

So anyway, love to see how this plays out in the episodes to come. Of course, if Yul still has the hidden immunity by final four, he should make it into final three without a hitch. His only choice outing would be Sundra then, because there’s no way he could risk a Becky Sundra Yul end where the girls would take each other no doubt – where as taking Ozzy and Becky with him to final three would be the best bet for him. He’ll definitely be 100% safe only if he wins the final immunity, but at least with a Becky Ozzy Yul pairing, he has Becky (who probably has the same chance – not so much – with either Ozzy or Yul) to rely on. The only other combo would be Ozzy Sundra and Yul, but why would he want that? Sundra’s closer to Ozzy (witness the hand holding on the helicopter), Yul would have to win for sure to get a place in final two, and might lose a jury vote in Becky if she got screwed. Unless Becky and others can get rid of Yul’s immunity idol BEFORE the final four or do some real kickass strategy that would result in kicking Yul or Ozzy off at the final four, Yul still holds the best position on the island. Which is why it is essential that Yul need to make nice with Becky. Ultimately she holds a lot of Yul’s win at stake, even though she herself is unlikely to win the title. I love Yul – but what a stupid stupid move. It’s the one move that could push him out of the winning seat. That is, if Becky does indeed have the brains and the balls to do it.

I think Yul should try and manipulate the votes to get Jonathan out either next episode or the one after that, which will accomplish several things:-  to not upset the jury by taking Jonathan into the final 4;  to appease Becky that she (and not Jonathan) will go to final two with him and thus keep her in his pocket; to stop any possible alliances with Jonathan and Ozzy (who bonded over the whole not feeding lazy people thing); to cut Raro off completely in swaying any votes (from the interactions seen in the episodes, it’s unlikely that either Adam or Pavarti could ally themselves with Yul, Becky, Sundra, or Ozzy, so they will have the numbers).

Anyway. Oh, could you actually believe that ADAM won a mental challenge? Could  he truly be that eagle stuck with all those damn turkeys? I refuse to believe that none of the Aitu people got the it right before ADAM. Maybe it was all an act.  It has to be.

Y-U-L spells Yul

Survivor 13x11

Merge! Guess who’s out this time? It’s not anyone from ex-Aitu or anyone white…

Yup, Nate bites the dust after Jonathan’s move to ally himself with hidden immunity idol Yul. How surprising. Better ally yourself with the smartest guy there than the dumbest, n’est pas? More importantly, who doesn’t love Yul now? As Pavarti points out, “Smart equals sexy”, not to mention that hot equals sexy too.  “I’m never going to get a date again” Yul should be watching out for the stampede of girls and guys waiting at his door.

Is there hope for ex-Raro?(And do I actually care?) Otherwise what we will see in weeks to come is a massacre of whiteys (sans Jonathan) – they no longer have the numbers, and with Ozzy around, they’ll find it difficult to win any immunity at all. Not that immunity could save them (save a day or two). The only thing they can do now is convince the very tight ex-Aitu to work with them, but with Yul’s idol sharing, that is unlikely to happen. So in advance, goodbye you chumps! Adam and Candice can go off and make tons of lovely dumb babies, and maybe have a threesome with Pavarti in their spare time.

Let’s wait for the final five then, and hopefully see how Jonathan tries a hand at breaking the tightest alliance yet (but without being a whore lying in each other’s lap, of course) – Yul and Becky.

The Amazing Race Asia 1x2

Again, too many non-physical tasks. It cracks me up seeing sound minded adults get all pissed off trying to roll a cart without spilling soy sauce while singing some song; on the other hand, I do like those crazy ass physical tasks like rappelling down a building face first (as they did in the US A Race), especially sitting in the comfort of my couch. There needs to be a good balance of the two, and they ain’t got it here. Watching people pet snakes in a zoo is NOT my idea of good TV. 

And please, just leave

Asia

already. Which they actually will, if you notice the map in the title credits. But it’s a pretty sparse map featuring some pretty boring places.

And then there are the uninteresting teams with no game. Who takes a fast forward to be no. 1? For at least half of the race, it really DOES NOT MATTER as long as you’re not last. Hello, teams ALWAYS bunch up. So, glad you model boys got the fast forward, but that has to be the dumbest reason to go on one. And, what’s with the niceties? Every single team left money for the last team – are they nuts? It’s good to have these decent polite people on the race, but now I don’t really care who wins and who loses – what’s the difference? None of the teams seem to be particularly good at the game, and none of the teams (as of now) seem to possess anything remotely close to a personality. 

Hmm…I don’t care for the teams, and I don’t care for the tasks. Add to that they’re still in

Asia

prancing around not spilling soy sauce, this is turning into one hell of a boring show. Anyhoo.

Whiteys rule!

Survivor 13x10

No, not so much. But they did kick out 2 of the 3 remaining non white tribe members in Raro. So they do rule, but only in the Raro tribe. Bye Rebecca and Jenny - now we don't have to worry about them "picking the Aitu off like pimples". Guess you were the pimples.  Hm. So is there anyone left that’s still rooting for Raro? I’m not even sure if Raro themselves are, as they continue to be smoked by the new underdog superstar Aitu. Is the new Aitu really that unbeatable, or is Raro’s whitey alliance + Nate that full of shit? I wonder how Nate feels now, being the only non white chump left. Hee!

It might not even matter anyway, shouldn’t a merge come up soon?

If that happens in the next episode, the promos suggest that Yul’s hidden immunity idol will play a part into evening the tribes (right now Raro’s got the edge, having 5 (mostly white) people s vs. 4 on Aitu). Because if (white) Raro make it into the final 4, I’m done with the show this season. Ew. But I’m not too worried. Yul has been the frontrunner since the first episode, and it seems that he'll continue his way into the final two.

Oh, and how about that Yul sandwich? 

Amazing Race Asia 1x1

Duh, of course I'm watching this. The Amazing Race is one of my all time favorite reality shows, and it'll be interesting to see how the Asians take a stab at it.

Editing: is quite tight, similar to original A Race. Which is good. There hasn't been any real drama yet, so we'll see how that goes.

Tasks: Pretty similar, seem a bit lame(less physical) in comparison. Abseiling 8 floors inside a mall? Snooze. Painting a silk painting? Snooze. Making a pot? Snooze. Going 4 rounds in a racecare thingy? Snooze. And where's the roadblock? Don't they get to do anything separately? I did like the pit stop bit at the end though - some actually got lost in the park, and a team even missed out their no. 1 spot coz they walked the wrong path. I like it when teams have to actually READ the clue to get it right.

Locations: Well, Faux-Phil didn't use Phil's tagline : "...in a race around the world!" but instead said something like "around Asia and MORE!". Which doesn't sound like much fun. I mean, they spend the whole episode in ONE place - KL. Where's the excitement? One of the greatest things about Amazing Race is watching people be completely uncomfortable in places they're not used to, the insults to the locals for no reason, yelling fast fast in whatever language at the cab drivers, mistaking cultural items as spiritual items, all the squabbles at the airports, etc. And here you have 10 (why not 11 teams, btw?) teams from Asia in Asia. Whoop-dee-doo. How tough is that, huh? I hope it doesn't go the way of the Family Edition Amazing Race. Boring locations and lame tasks = Sucky show.

Faux-Phil: According to the credits, he's Allan Wu. So far, nothing interesting about him. Unless he does that eyebrow thing like Phil. That would be kind of awesome. But I doubt that'll happen.

Teams: They're pretty boring and general so far, and it'll take me a couple of episodes til I know them by name:-

Congrats chubby guys from Malaysia, who're team one. Then there's three all girls teams -the 'pretty' girls from the Phillipines, a co-worker group from I can't remember where, and two Singaporean girls. Then there are the male models (just like the real Amazing Race) from Mumbai , who aren't doing much to change the stereotype just yet, and a gay couple who's pretty adorable so far. As far as bf/gf or married couples are concerned, there's four of those: One (or maybe two) from Malaysia - both of which seem pretty atheletic and should go far in the race, one rather adorable British couple from Thailand, and a (non-Chinese) couple from HK, who sucked so much they were last. For some lame reason though, the first leg is a non-elimination leg, which is the dumbest first leg in the history of Amazing Race. What was the point of watching the damn thing and then not have anyone kicked off? What a lame ending for the premiere episode of Amazing Race Asia.

Anyhoo, so 10 teams continue to compete for - wait for it - US 100,000. What? Freak, that's nothing.

White Supremacy

Survivor 13 x 9 "Mutiny"

Holy Shit! Jonathan and Candice both jumped ships, and now the white Raros have ganged up(subconsciously, kinda) and are proceeding to pick off all the non-whites of Raro, even if they don't know it yet. How white of them. Survivor really IS a social experiment.  Wanna bet that Rebecca, Jenny and Nate will be out next? Dumb move you guys - should've kept eye candy Brad in the game. When the whites are keeping the (traitor)whites instead of you guys, you KNOW you're not long for the Survivor world.

I, as a totally manipulated viewer, am  totally behind Aitu now, if not for cuteness of Yul and Ozzy. . Hee. Would LOVE it if they'd whoop Raro's ass in every single challenge til the merge. WOULD LOVE IT.

Ass Cleavage Action

I love how they were all blurred out this week on Survivor. Ozzy basically had a blur following his ass at all times during the show. Also featured were Rebecca's boobies, which unfortunately came out during some boring ass swimming challenge. Probst pretty much ignored the whole thing, though he'd comment on just about everything else in the challenge, but you could hear Jenny's sweet voice - "Pull your top up!" while another teammate Nate simply starred.

Oh, and it's nice to see Jenny kicking Becky's ass at the puzzle.